|
| I'm losing sleep more than ever now; it's not a pretty sight. Despite how tired I may feel at the beginning/end/during the day, somehow it feels necessary for me to continue, to play it again once more. Routine is harder than we think to break from, when all you've ever known in your life is routine, is following someone else...it'll be interesting to see who fails and who flies after school finishes. I don't handle stress very well (or well at all it seems), but I don't want to put myself into a negative attitude towards life, so I'll say I'm the type of person to glide for as long as they can, and in the end, I'll be the one that's not quite flying high, but not quite flying out to sea as such. We mess up sometimes because we're human, there isn't pressure on us to be perfect, history has taught us that. The only pressure is from ourselves, in our never-ending search for perfection, we may have heightened or dumbed down perceptions of those things that we believe may be our flaws or our already achieved "perfections". We all know this...that we cannot solely blame a single human being for an action they have done, for who is man but a creation, a manipulation, an amalgamation of the influences and structures of the society from that which he was brought forth and raised by. Blaming an individual is no more than indirectly (or directly if you see it that way) blaming society and indeed mankind for it's flaws and shortcomings. But who are we to judge others that are equally flawed as us? Matthew 7:3-5 "Why do you observe the splinter in you brother's eye and never notice the plank in your own? How dare you say to your brother, 'Let me take the splinter out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own? Hypocrite! Take the plank out of your own eye first, and then you will see clearly enough to take the splinter out of your brother's eye." We are now better than our smallest imperfections. "With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood..." "The only thing that's worse than one is none." Maybe .kev | | |
| Thanks alot holidays, now my body clock is all retarded. Staying up at 2 in the morning is not healthy...
Although it has introduced me to OneRepublic <3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOO!!! Screw Paulo
Nutella or whoever you're listening to Jian. Listen to OneRepublic ;)
myspace.com/OneRepublic.
.kev
| | |
| Wow...so it's the home stretch already, and I've barely even gotten
into my holidays. Well, they've been parent and sibling-free for the
past week (unless you count the Golds as siblings...then again, I do),
and that hasn't been doing any good for me apart from healthy eating.
Although I guess this is a good thing that they're finally back, I
refuse to do any washing and I think I've just run out of clean undies.
You know. In case I get hit by a bus or something.
I miss trees.
I've never been good for confusion, although I don't think anybody
really takes confusion well, it's easier for some to deal with?? See
what I mean? That one little bit just confused myself further. Fudge
seems to make it all better. Baileys fudge just makes it that bit more
awesome-r
Sure, it keeps playing in the background...but is it fading or just
getting stronger? Well all we know is that someday along the road,
we're going to be hit by a bus...sans-undies.
.kev
| | |
| They say time is not linear, but rather time can be demonstrated as
taking a circular path, so that time itself can repeat. Events repeat,
and we can feel the similarity in events that occur. Why we feel deja
vu, why does everything feel so familiar?
It's hard not to be sucked back into things that occured long ago. If
they could happen back then, then why not now? Just learn from our
mistakes and try not to let them happen again.
On another note...being home alone is really unhealthy. Damn.
| | |
| I don't have any excuses left, so why do I still avoid it? I got...this
close to things you wouldn't believe, it was too bad that somehow it
stopped altogether meaning anything to me. If it worked out that in the
end, all the things that ever occurred were not worth it? I could deal.
If someone told me that consciousness is reality, I would believe them.
In fact, the only thing that I could not be bothered doing at this
moment is doing something as arbitrary as what's in front of me. Damn
English.
I remember as a kid, my favourite place in the world (well, I had two
of them) was not the park, the library, the movies, the supermarket or
even Wonderland. It was being caught in rainstorms and getting yelled
at by grown-up voices for playing in the mud or just bending over a
puddle to watch as worms made their way out from now soaked dirt. I
would do anything to make an excuse just to get out in the rain.
My other favourite place was in this old cupboard of
mine. It wouldn't have been as tall as i am now, but it was mine. It
stood next to my bed, with half of the side being drawers, and the
other half for hangers. Of course, being the little kid I was, whenever
I played Hide'n'Seek with my brother, I would pretty much always hide
in that cupboard. Just snuggle up to some of the jumpers and jackets
that was inside there, comforted by the warm mothball-air and tight,
dark spaces. I felt it was my own, my thoughts were clearer there.
There was nothing to distract from the thoughts in my mind, of my own.
And so it went on and on, just whenever I felt like
the world (even the house) was too big for a little asian kid with the
bowl-cut hair, I would crawl into my own space. There at least, an oasis
could be found for a little while.
I was always a strange kid. I was NICE to my brother for one, I was
nice to him like you wouldn't imagine...I remember this one time when
we were at Hurstville for some Loony Tunes parade and we both had a
Happy Meal. My brother was carrying his little box when the handle of
it broke and he started crying. Now me, personally, I love Happy Meals,
and especially those little toys they gave you, so it was quite a big
thing for me to give mine to my brother. But it wasn't, because
somehow, the little Kevin back then didn't care so much as for the
little Rugrats toy or whatever it was, but more for my brother. How
have things changed? I don't care so much at all...for anything.
I miss the freedom that children have, especially my own freedom when I
was a kid. It's daunting really, comparing the kid I used to be to the
person I am now, so much has changed. On one hand, there's little
Kevin; always outside when everyone was in, and always inside when
everyone was out. Then there's big Kevin; responsibilities and the
like...Somehow, I like the little Kevin better.
"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."
Phillip K. Dick
.kev
| | |
|
